Thankfulness + Suffering

This is a hard one for me. Thankfulness in suffering. I would like to start with a resource I ran across today. It comes from The Village Church. I would highly recommend spending some time on their website. It is full of sermons, papers, and other resources. Whatever you are facing or asking, they probably have a wealth of information available. So before I give a few thoughts, please take a minute to read the PDF "Does God Want His Children to Suffer?"

So, my suffering may be how God chooses to grow me, bring my ultimate joy or bring Him glory. I am not in the midst of some form of intense suffering right now, so most days I can understand that and accept it. What I am facing right now is a time of waiting and perhaps disappointment. While I know it does not begin to come close to the suffering in the world today, it has brought about some sadness and frustration at myself, and, if I was honest, God. That being said, I will still put it into a category of mild suffering for the sake of this discussion. I won't go into detail at this time because to fully understand why I call it a form of suffering would require me to tell my life story. I'm not sure that it is time for that and don't think it is necessary to the discussion. Rather than coloring your idea of suffering with my thoughts, I would rather this be a personal reflection for you as it has been for me.

During this time, I have been through numerous stages. In all of my life, I have never really expressed frustration when speaking to the Lord. I have asked, begged, and cried, but I never once had spoken angrily to Him. At the beginning of this time of waiting and disappointment, I reached a new place of anger and sadness with myself and what I thought He was doing. For the first time, I bared my soul - every ugly corner - to Him. I cried and screamed until I literally vomited. I was raw, empty, and spent. I wasn't sure what to think when it was over. To be honest, I still am not sure. But, He got to hear it all (even though He already knew it was there). Much to my dismay, He has yet to rescue me from any of the circumstances surrounding that outburst. In fact, things actually went further downhill. For a time, I fell into a depression about everything. I was still in the same circumstances. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and seek an answer. I was shut down at every turn. So, here I am today still in the same place. But now, I am beginning to see a purpose in it. He is starting to show me what this time is for. As of now, these are the things that He is showing me in this time:

1. He is revealing my sin. I had areas of unconfessed sin in my life that I needed to repent of.

2. He is showing me my weakness. I have always considered myself to be a strong person, but He is revealing my brokenness.

3. He is teaching me that my worth is not based on anything that I can do or how I perform.

4. He is teaching me His way of seeing the world and myself.

5. He is redefining success in my mind. (http://www.thevillagechurch.net/the-village-blog/redefining-success/)

6. He is purifying my desires.

7. He is trying to align me with His will.

8. He is creating an attitude of thankfulness in me.

I am sure He is up to so much more than that. Time and His Spirit will reveal these to me. For now, I am trying to be teachable and thankful. It's not always easy. Satan has definitely thrown in more road blocks. I am trying to look to Christ and the other followers in His Word as examples of how to find joy as I wait. Here are a few verses I have found so far:

James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. ⁴ And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

1 Peter 5:9-10 "But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. ¹⁰ After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."

James 1:12 "Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

Romans 5:3 " And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; ⁵ and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Romans 8:18 " For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

With that in mind, I would like to continue my blessing or gift list from the last post...

11. A personal Savior who knows me and what I need better than I know myself

12. The opportunity to suffer alongside Christ and His disciples around the world

13. Grace

14. Being given a personal relationship with the God of the universe through His Son

15. His Word

16. Prayer

17. Worship through song

18. The Holy Spirit living in me and guiding me

19. His love for me at this very moment

20. The words and works of His followers past and present that encourage and teach me.

What are you thankful for in your time of suffering? What verses have been comforting to you?